Victory

Gather around children, for I am about to tell you a story about small victory.

It was a beautiful day, and at this particular time my physics class was about to start.  I walked in class, minding my own business.
Although I knew I forgot my homework and notebook, I would bet on playing it cool and just use my Calculus notebook as decoy. It worked and I was sitting in class trying to look innocent and concentrated when suddenly my friend siting next to me starts being obnoxious.



He’s totally wrecking my plan.
So of course, my teacher immediately makes a B-line to out table ”You two obviously already fully understand what I am explaining, so lets see that homework.” He said, mockingly.
At this point I knew my cover is blown, I’m busted.
I tried to plead and beg but of course this did not satisfy him.
“I want to see ALL of the assignments from this chapter TOMORROW!”
I am defeated, no more hope, I wave the white flag.

Meanwhile my friend was sitting next to me, seemingly trying not to laugh his ass off, while I was in misery.



“BOTH OF YOU!”

So now we are both totally screwed.
But I know how this is going to go.
Every time this happens, and every time I ask myself why they do not see, they can not win. Ever.
Its just a wasted battle.

But anyway. Here's what will happen:

I will walk in class.
My teacher will be sitting at his desk with a smirk on his face because of course he does not expect me to have finished all the assignments.
I walk up to him and slam my notebook on his desk with all the assignments in it, color coded, in alphabetical order and flawless. Like a BOSS.


And while I walk away in victory, the look of disbelief and embarrassment on his face will be priceless.
And the weeks following this event he will not be able to doubt my epicness.
But of course somewhere along the line he needs to be reminded again and then this process will repeat.

But still,
Sweet victory my friend, sweet victory.

Natasha

Fish ‘n Bugs

Lets cut to the chase. I am one scared MoFo.
There are three things that can make me scream and run away like a little girl, anytime, anywhere.
I’m gonna explain two, just for fun.

First on my list is: Fish.
How can you NOT be afraid of these freakin creepy things, they are scary as FUCK. why you ask me?  well let me téll you why!
- They do NOT blink. Isn’t that enough reason to fear for your life? can you imagine? those tiny, creepy lookin, glassy eyes staring at you, swimming closer…. closer… and when you blink once… WHAM!!! he’s in frond of your face!!! AAAAHHHH!!!.
- They have sharp jaws. Have you ever felt a fish jaw? Its like a knife, but its a jaw.
- They are slimy and scaly. This means that you can not fight a fish, if it wants to chew on your face, its gonna, and you and your incapable hands are NOT going to stop em.
- Fish are just freaky as heck. I do NOT get fish and there shape, they’re just freaky looking to me…

 

Second on my list is: Bugs, the big kinds, not the tiny “awhh, its like a piece of lint, teeheee!” kind of bugs, but the “HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! is that a dinosaur!?” kind of bugs.
- Most of the time they have multiple eyes. Dude… they can see you a 100 times. This means that while I was standing behind it, screaming like a toddler and clutching the bug spray, trying to figure out if I can kill a six inch wide immortal-looking creature with “Natural insect repellant” and and electric fly swatter (Give me the big guns, I want nuclear weapons, damn it!!), it already found 100 ways to escape, while scaring the total living shit out of me.
- Ok so here’s the deal with bugs. Since the beginning of mankind we swat fly’s stomp on Pill bugs and bug spray cockroaches to death. Don’t you think that the insects are catching on? They want REVENGE! and the big ones are freakin getting there! Slowly but surely there will be a whole army of gigantic bugs, coming to eat your FACE. so watch the fuck out next time a mega-insect fly’s, crawls or morphs in your area out of no where.

Watch. Your. Back.

So now you know. I leave you with this messege: Flea's can jump 130 times higher than their own height. In human terms this is equal to a 6ft. person jumping 780 ft. into the air.

Love, Kissis, Protect your ears…

Natasha

P.S.
Try to guess what my third and worst fear is…

Procrastination

Ah yes, procrastination, the reason I’m writing this and probably the reason you’re reading this.
So, what ís procrastination? Well, my dear friend, I will tell you.

Lets google this shit:
“procrastination: the act of replacing high-priority actions with tasks of low-priority, and thus putting off important tasks to a later time. A certain behavior must comply with three criteria for this behavior to be classified as procrastination: it must be counterproductive, needless, and delaying.”
So now you know what procrastination is, but why do we procrastinate? Well most of the time we procrastinate when we have to complete tasks or activities that are hard, important and/or take a lot of time. 90% of the time procrastination results in failing to complete the task or activity you where supposed to do, but of course this is NOT your fault!
- “Why I didn’t finish my history paper? Well my dog needed food so I refilled his food bowl, then, oops! I spilled some food on the floor, while I was cleaning the  floor I saw that the paint was chipping off the cupboards… blah, blah, 12 hours later, blah… blah…. and when my clothes where done washing I put them in the dryer and by that time it was 11 PM, so I thought I might as well go to bed.”

No, its never your fault.

Ever.

I can hear you thinking right now: “Natasha! WHY? Why are you procrastinating? Why in heavens name are you writing this epically lame blog instead of studying for your finals!?”
Well my dear friend, the reason for this stupid decision is that I cant take responsibility for my actions, and if I fail my test without putting 100% of my effort into studying, it is not my fault and I will not feel guilty! :D
Hurray!

So what is the conclusion of this beautiful story?
Everyone procrastinates, everyone will find out that if you procrastinate enough you will fail at life in an epic manner. So keep op sabotaging yourself peeps, its okay! And remember: failing because you had better things to do, is better than failing because you are simply incapable of winning! :D

Love, Kisses, go do something more important.

Natasha

I SWEAR! its vegan!

Most of my life I have been vegan from birth till I was eight and from the time I was 15 till I was 16.
So obviously I can shoot lasers with my eyes, read your mind and my hair is voluminous as hell.
But I have decided that I’m giving up being vegan once and for all.
I’m totally sick of it, I’m not even going to try anymore. Every time I went out to eat with friends I had to interrogate the waiter about if the food was cooked with milk, eggs, cheese, honey or a dead freaking animal.
only to hear something like: “no! we are sure its vegan!”

well, after September I tried a number of times to be vegan again but it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to be a non-health freak and eat vegan at the same time, you cant eat ANNYTHING!! here is a list wit foods you can NOT eat:
- Chocolate, tough luck, theirs milk in there
- Gummy candy, HA! ground pig bones you sicko! go spit that out! Eww, you disgust me.
- Honey loops, to bad, bees got their tiny little legs torn off for your pleasure.
- Doritos, yeah, didn’t see that one coming did you. it has one single animal enzym mixed in there.
- Cake, this is vegan TORTURE device, it has milk, eggs and sometimes even honey.

so basically you have a huge variety of beans, greens and fruit…
Yummm… soybeans all day every day, so deliciously tasteless.

And I know that its good for the environment and shit, but frankly… I don’t think that me not drinking milk or eating eggs or cheese (Americans, you have NO idea what cheese is until you eat real Dutch gouda.) is really going to help the environment.
The meat, eggs, milk and cheese is there, its already been made. Its your choice if your going to eat it or not, its not going to help the environment substantially, trust me. But after a few years of being vegan, meat really doesn’t taste good anymore (kind of like iron, blood and oil), so I’m still going to refrain from that…

I’m a proud VEGETARIAN now! (maybe the vegan police will let me keep my incredibly voluminous hair… please?)

Love, Kisses, eat a chicken…

Natasha

Airplane food and Strawberry Flavour!

So, I was going to make a blog about some random facts about me, but Milko decided that a vlog would be better. so I wrote down a few of my quirks, pet peeves and just fun facts about myself. But my list was so long that I had to pick just a few for the vlog. of course now you are thinking to yourself: “But, Natasha! I’m SOOO freaking interested in your life, why can’t we know EVERYTHING about you!?”
Settle down, settle down, don’t get your panties is a bunch.
I’m going to post them right here :)
soooo, here they are, the facts that, sadly enough, did not make the video:

1. I LOVE Large bunches of key chains

And I mean HUGE, like a whole collection of humongous key chains.
Seriously, feel free to hang a full size teddy bear or fox tail on there, AWESOME.
Just the look and feel of an enormous bunch of key chains (of course with keys on them) makes me happy. Overtime my keychain grows and grows and grows, once in a while I have to clean out the whole bunch and throw out the old key chains. today I just cleaned out my key-bunch, now they look like this, its as small as its going to get.
I also have a tendency to keep every single key I ever needed, even from my two bikes that got stolen… just in case one of them mysteriously appears somewhere.
(a friend of mine totally found her stolen bike on a bridge in Amsterdam)

2. I get exited about the most ridiculous crap

okay, let me give an example, just this afternoon I was walking around in this discount shop, and something caught my eye… an enormous BALL of hair ties… :|
You know those office supply elastic balls? yeah, like that, but made out of HAIR-FREAKIN-ties.

Yeah, that was my initial reaction to.
So after freaking out about it for like 30 minutes,I bought it.
and when I got home I was all like: “OMG!!!! MOM!!! check this out!! its a BALL of HAIR TIES!!!” and she was sitting there looking at me like “O.RLY.HUH.”
so during the rest of the day my exitedness subsided.
And now I’m stuck with a ball of hair ties that, frankly don’t even really work that well… 
Waste of my 2 euro’s.

3. I have a strange love for Airplane food

So my parents just returned from a vacation and they brought the airplane food that they didn’t want (biscuits, bagels, pieces of carrot cake and such).This is kind of normal in our household because most of the time my parents and little sister don’t really like the food. But why would they keep the food they don’t like?
Because I LOVE airplane food! I don’t know why… I guess it has something to do with the fact that when I was little I used to travel by plane for about nine hours at a time on a regular basis. So I guess its kind of implanted in my brain or something… I’m wierd…
So bring on those tiny salads, carrot cake, fruit cups and biscuits, YUMM!

4. I HATE strawberry flavored foods

Well, actually, food that says its “Strawberry Flavored”
This just aggravates me to no end. Seriously, when I read: “Strawberry Flavored”,
I read: “This stuff usually tastes like crap, so we just threw in some dangerous chemicals that could probably potentially kill you, and made it taste absolutely NOTHING like the delicious fruit we named it after! enjoy!”
This just made me physically sick just writing about it…

So now you know just a little bit more about me, check in later for the 5 random facts vlog, for the craziest, quirkiest and weirdest facts about me!
Love, kisses, get me an airplane fruitcup.
Natasha

So the epicness begins!

Hello there strangers, friends, stalkers (don’t know, don’t care muahaha)
this is the first epic mind spill that is appearing on this awsome blog of mine.

 
For peeps who dont know me, my mind is kind of an endless pit of random thoughts.
I’m that kind of person that will zone out for like half an hour, and snap out of it just to inform people that “the cheese might be evil :|” only to recieve a few wierd looks and requests to explain how the hell I just came to that conclusion.
Well, that is exactly why I am writing this blog, so all the verbal diheriah that I spew out on a daily basis, can be captured into one big enormous bit op epic, awesome, random views of life.

So yeah, like it or not but your gonna get a peek inside my head!
and for my Bestdude Milko, I will post a vlog once in a while to.

love, kisses, watch out for the cheese,

Natasha